Students, Local Residents Build Trust -- One Dinner at a Time

It's a tried and true recipe for making new neighbors feel welcome -- invite them to your house for dinner. Some 40 Durham families did just that this fall, hosting about 80 Duke first-year students in their homes.

"It was a great, comforting feeling being in a real house with a cat and two dogs," said Malika Atmakuri, a first-year student from New York City who recently shared a Southern meal of "chicken pudding" (a recipe from Mama Dips in Chapel Hill), turnip greens, green beans and sweet potato biscuits with Diane Daniel and her husband Wessel Kok in their Walltown home.

Josh Parker, a Durham resident whose grandmother worked at Duke, came up with the idea of getting people together around a dinner table as a means of improving town-gown relations.

"It's sort of an introduction to the community in a friendly way," said Parker, who works in real estate development for Niemann Capital/ Blue Devil Ventures and is a student at N.C. Central University. "I sat in on (Duke freshman) orientation in 2004. It wasn't that anyone said don't go out in Durham, but there was no mention of Durham. I think it's important students know where they are."

Parker spoke with folks in Duke's Student Affairs Office, with whom the idea resonated. This year they stepped up efforts to encourage Duke students to get off campus and explore Durham, said Ryan Lombardi, assistant dean of students. About 1,550 first-year students went to a Durham Bulls baseball game and dinner at the American Tobacco Campus.

"We want students to realize there's more to this experience than just Duke. It's part of being a member of the community," said Lombardi, who expressed gratitude for the Durham hosts. "These dinners send the message that Durham is a welcoming place with people who care about the people who live here, whether they're permanent residents or students."

Parker emailed neighborhood listserves to recruit neighborhood residents. Student Affairs emailed first-year students asking who would be interested in eating a meal with a Durham family.

Daniel, a freelance reporter, quickly embraced the idea. "I'm a person who loves meeting new people and often open my door," she said. "I see students on East Campus and Whole Foods, but I have no way in my daily life to naturally connect with them. I love Durham and I want to share the love."

Daniel said the personal contact with Atmakuri and Atmakuri's roommate, Kelly Schiabor from New Mexico, helped change some misperceptions about Duke students. Dinner conversation included talk of Schiabor's interest in genetics and Atmakuri's interest in medical school and Indian dancing.

"I automatically assume, even though I know better, that (Duke students) come from great privilege and are out of touch," Daniel said. "It was totally not true. These two students were incredibly vibrant and active. It's fun to see a younger generation and see what they're doing."

Treat Harvey and Regina deLacy, who is head of the Hope Valley Farms homeowners association, were equally impressed with the students who came to their house: David Graham of Akron, Ohio, and Melanie Wright of High Point. "I just felt really good about what these particular students were doing," said Harvey, a development officer for Student Affairs. "David is learning guitar “ his dad plays in a rock band and he recognized the music we were playing."

Graham said he enjoyed the dinner and was happy for the opportunity to go somewhere off-campus other than Shooters, where so many students flock. "I feel it's tough to go places," he said. "I had a bike, but it got ripped off. It sort of curtailed my exploration."

Graham said he likes what he's seen of Durham and sees similarities between Ninth Street and the neighborhood he's from in Akron. "Ninth Street is sort of like Highland Square, except much better."

Whether the dinners will continue remains a bit unclear. Although he has heard only positive responses to date, Lombardi said he would conduct a more formal evaluation.

Parker said he doesn't want the dinners to become an institutionalized Duke program because he doesn't want students to feel pressured in any way to participate. He would like to see more people involved, though, and expand it to include N.C. Central students, as well.

"Who knows?" Parker said. "If students have a good impression of Durham when they leave in four years, it may be where they will want to work and raise kids. Why not let them know early on that Durham is a good place to hang around."