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Love Over Rivalry: Jim and Lisa Ruth

The groom's cake at the wedding of Duke-UNC couple Jim and Lisa Ruth depicted a Duke-UNC basketball game

What degrees did you earn from your respective universities?

I (Lisa) have a bachelor's degree in philosophy and American studies, along with a master's degree in library science from UNC. Jim has a bachelor's degree in mechanical engineering from Duke and a master's degree in library science from UNC. We are almost 10 years apart in age, and I have spent most of my life in Chapel Hill, so I have more years of being a Carolina fan. I was in school when UNC won the NCAA championship in 1993 and in grad school when we won in 2005. Jim became a rabid Duke fan when he was accepted to Duke. Jim was at Duke for the golden era of the early 2000s, including the 2001 NCAA win. 

How long have you been married?

It will be nine years in August! We were married in Duke Gardens, actually. My mother's hand shook when she made the check out to Duke. The groom's cake depicted a Carolina/Duke basketball game.

Where are you living now?

Durham, but probably equidistant from Duke and UNC.

What was the initial reaction of hearing where the other attended school?

I had absolute disgust. I had thought he was cute, but when he said he went to Duke, I immediately crossed him off my list.

I'm pretty sure Jim also had disgust when he learned of my Carolina Blue roots. He often says my law degree from Harvard is the only thing that helped him get over it. Love truly can conquer all.

Was basketball something that sparked debate early on? Does it still spark debate? Was/is the debate friendly, heated, light-hearted, etc.?

Oh, yes, lots of debate, and it goes beyond basketball. There have been debates over Coach K vs. Dean Smith, Eric Montross being bloodied, then the Gerald Henderson foul against Tyler Hansborough. But we've also been known to get into the character and culture of each institution. Given my longer time as a Carolina fan, I can rant about many more Carolina/Duke games, but Jim has the deeper basketball knowledge. So this makes the debates interesting! We have definitely each grown to admire the educational mission of each other's rival, but that wasn't always the case.

Can you watch Duke-UNC games together? Describe what it is like to watch a game together. Is it tense? Is there yelling or teasing? Are there rules you agree upon beforehand?

My goodness no/ We did once, I think when we were first dating maybe? Not good. There can be absolutely no discussion of the game afterwards.

We also have two children. In my memory (and this is now contested) our son began as a UNC fan. But when when our daughter was born, he saw that Jim was going to be outnumbered in the household, so our son switched. He is now a die-hard Duke fan and can rattle off more Duke facts than Jim. Our daughter, on the other hand, is still resolutely a UNC fan. At three years old, she refused to sit next to Jim at Thanksgiving because he was a "Dukie." I swear I did not encourage this, but I will fight to keep her a Tar Heel.

Obviously, Jim watches the game with our son, and I watch with our daughter.

Is it Love or Rivalry?

Love AND Rivalry. We are blissfully in love 363 days a year, and for two days a year, we have a rivalry. I'll take that.