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Entertainment on the sidelines
Date: Monday, January 26, 2004
Location: Across New Hampshire
On the fringe of electoral politics are New Hampshire's most entertaining characters.
A "time-traveler" from the future is running for president. Vermin Supreme sports an upside-down boot on his head, clothes reminiscent of the Village People, and a giant ram's head tied to his waist.
There's a PETA spokesman running for president. "Chris P. Carrot" champions veganism while wearing a giant carrot costume.
At a Clark rally in Henniker, I meet Kaitlin Nichols of the Apollo Alliance. Kaitlin, like most of the 40 young Apollo activists in New Hampshire, is wearing a bright orange flight-suit.
Because most campaign events have a few conspicuous orange suits in the audience, candidates have begun to notice the Apollo Alliance. Senators John Edwards and John Kerry both point out Apollo activists when their stump speeches mention clean energy, one of Apollo's raison d'etre.
The Apollo people that I've met are genial without exception. They seem to be having fun and drawing attention to their cause in an effective, unobnoxious way.
The same cannot be said for the supporters of Lyndon LaRouche, a leftist "candidate" in every presidential election since 1976. The LaRouche activists offer me a journal whose cover features the shadow of an axe-wielding Satan behind a photograph of Dick Cheney.
Their journal's title is "Children of Satan II: The Beast-Men."
LaRouche's disciples are rude nuisances. While a young woman is trying to ask Howard Dean a question at a town hall in Manchester, a LaRouche supporter screams at Dean until security guards forcibly eject him. Immediately, a second heckler rises and repeats the rant.
After this second minor melee ensues, an angry Al Franken rushes by me. The comedian later tells me that the heckler broke Franken's eye-glasses while Franken, having tackled him, was clinging to the man's legs.
Of course, most activists are more inspirational than bothersome.
Outside the presidential debate, a small group of environmentalists campaigns against global warming while surrounded by more than a thousand activists cheering for Democratic candidates.
Convinced that climate change threatens New Hampshire's maple trees, they hold signs that say, "Save Our Syrup."
As I shiver in weather so cold I can't feel my hands, I can't help but think the syrup-savers have picked the wrong night to crusade against global warming.
Next stop: South Carolina
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