The Question That Led to Letting Go of Her Leg

Now, nearly 18 months after her left leg was amputated below the knee, as she recovers from a second revision surgery to repair nerve damage, Hill wants Limb Loss and Limb Difference Awareness Month in April to be a reminder of all that she has overcome and all that people with limb differences like her conquer daily.

“There are parts of it that really suck,” Hill said. “And there are days that I’m not interested in going through life with a prosthetic. However, you know, this was the hand that I was dealt and it’s all in how you play it.”

A Click Turned into a Pop

In 2017, Hill decided that for the final year of her 30s, she wanted to run a half marathon. As a Disney fiend, it would be the Disney Princess Half Marathon, and as a running novice, Hill needed to start from scratch using the Couch to 5K training program.

From the beginning of Hill’s training, she noticed a clicking in her left ankle that occasionally caused pain. But she learned a trick to manipulating her ankle so that whatever was “popping out” popped back in and she could continue running.

This system worked through the Disney half marathon in the spring, and then two more within two weeks in the fall of 2017 – until the pain finally became so unbearable and she went to the doctor.

She had torn two tendons in her ankle, and they needed to be repaired surgically.

That was the first of a series of six surgeries over six years that failed to repair the tendons through various techniques.

“I was blowing the repair apart just by doing nothing, just by being,” Hill said.

When she was unable to walk on the beach or on cobblestone streets in New York City with her three kids – now ages 17, 15 and 12 – the doctor told her the only permanent repair options would be to fuse the bones in her ankle or amputate.

She chose amputation.

“Ultimately, I’m at peace with it because even though running is what caused the injury that led to all of this, I would not trade that journey,” Hill said. “I made some incredible friends through running that I still have. I showed my kids that I could do something that I had tried before to do and had failed at. The trade-off is that I wouldn’t have any of that – and I can’t imagine not having had all of that experience.”

Just a Storm Inside a Teacup

During Hill’s 16 years as a pediatric social worker at Duke, she has worked with children with chronic health conditions, starting in the cleft and craniofacial clinic. She’s always tried to teach body acceptance, but now she works to model it.

“I never want a consult to be about me, but if I can use my own experience in a way that’s useful to them, then I will bring it up or show it to them,” Hill said.

She encourages curious questions about her limb loss, which sometimes leads to questions about what the designs on her prosthetics mean. Hill calls herself an “Elder Swiftie,” and her first prosthesis included Taylor Swift’s signature heart hands symbol. It reminded Hill of Swift’s song, “Fearless,” and the lyric she told her kids just before she went into her amputation surgery: “Head first, fearless.”

Hill’s second prosthesis was covered in teacups, a reminder of a Swift lyric from “Opalite,” “This is just a storm inside a teacup.”

“That’s a lyric that reminds me on days where it’s hurting, it’s not fitting well, it’s just frustrating, I can’t get a shoe on that I want to wear – that this is just a storm inside a teacup,” Hill said of the phrase meant to describe an overreaction to a minor issue.

Hill’s former team lead, Shelia Rittgers, has watched the children with chronic conditions teach Hill, too.

“The main thing for them to remember is they are not defined by this health condition,” Rittgers said. “That does not define them. It’s a part of who they are, but it doesn’t define their whole person.

“There is a time to be angry and grieve and say, ‘This stuff sucks,’ because it does. But then one must really remember perspective and that it does not define who you are. And I think that’s how it is with Melissa.”

New Lyrics Needed

Hill’s most recent surgery in early April was to alleviate nerve pain exacerbated by Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, a connective tissue disorder she recently learned she has that probably was the root cause of her ankle tendons’ inability to heal.

She’ll have to get a new prosthetic, which she will decorate with a new reference to meaningful Taylor Swift lyrics.

“I don’t know what the new one will be yet,” Hill said. “It kind of depends on where I’m at.”

There are plenty to choose from on the theme of “persistence.”

“Persistence is something she has,” Rittgers said. “Certainly, she’s had her low moments. She’s human, just like everybody else. But she will persist.”

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