Tea for Six, Anyone?

There’s something warm and comforting about sharing a pot of tea with a friend.  Two Duke students and a May grad have started a Tea with Strangers chapter at Duke to connect students who haven’t met before.  

“I think there’s this bubble culture at Duke, where people for the most part stick to what they know,” said co-founder Jeremy Lipkowitz, MA ’15. “They go to the same restaurants time and time again, they hang out with the same people. I’d like to break that bubble.”  

Duke’s chapter is one of the most recent additions to the international Tea With Strangers movement which was begun by Ankit Shah, a University of Pennsylvania graduate who had just moved to San Francisco. Recognizing the challenge of meeting new people in a big city, Shah began organizing tea times for strangers. His tea community grew so large that he could hardly walk down the street without someone greeting him.

Since then, a number of colleges have begun or are in the process of starting Tea With Strangers chapters, including Harvard, Princeton and Stanford.

The idea for bringing teas to Duke sprang from two parallel stories. On a trip to the Duke farmer’s market, Elizabeth Kim, T’17, met Lipkowitz and struck up a conversation. Lipkowitz had just dropped out of the PhDprogram in genetics to start a teahouse for the simple joy of meeting people from all walks of life. At the same time, Helen Liu, T’17, was interning in Washington, D.C. for the summer and participating in a  chapter there.

“When you’re with your friends, even if you’re really close to them, it can be hard to talk about some topics,” Liu said. “When you’re with strangers, it’s almost paradoxically easy to open up.”

The stories converged when Kim saw Liu’s post on the All Duke Facebook page about starting a Tea With Strangers chapter.  

“I was like, ‘Wait, are you Jeremy’s friend?’” Kim said. “And she said, ‘Who’s Jeremy?’ So in a way, we were three strangers coming together to form Tea With Strangers. It was all very meta.”

The typical tea time lasts two hours, with up to six people. Settings tend to be casual – such as the Bryan Center plaza. The host’s job is to pour tea and stir up conversation. Suggested ice-breakers tend to be light -- cute dogs or the oldest pictures on one’s phone. Participants are invited to share stories with the goal of simply having a good time in a relaxed setting.

On a recent Friday, Lauren Hagedorn, T’17, hosted two Duke teas. At the first session, several people dropped out at the last minute, but Hagedorn said she and the student who did attend enjoyed themselves, connecting over the shared experience of volunteering at the Lemur Center. The second session attracted male and female attendees from a mix of classes, majors and backgrounds. 

“We went from talking about what we wrote on our college applications to where we’re living on campus,” Hagedorn said. “It was amazing to see the different personal stories that came out of the college applications, and the different personalities and interests.”

Ultimately, Kim said her hope is that Tea With Strangers at Duke will help make campus feel more like a neighborhood—warmer, more empathetic, close-knit and open.   

“Maybe next time, we’ll think twice before walking down the line of Pitchforks with our eyes on the phone,” said Kim, referring to the Edens café.  

Sign up! http://www.teawithstrangers.com/duke