Breaking the Silence about Suicide

On an April day in 2011, Ellen Parks received a text message from her son in Nashville.

"Having a nervous breakdown worrying about things. Didn't go to work. Call me later," wrote Derek, 32.

Parks was concerned because her son had been struggling with depression for more than a decade. That evening, she spoke with Derek and promised to call in the morning. When she called, Derek responded with a text: "I'll call back when I can."

Eight hours later, Parks' sister called from Nashville. Derek had killed himself.

"It is terribly hard to come to terms with the loss of a child," said Parks, an oncology nurse at Duke. "But it is even harder to come to terms with suicide."

Every 13.7 minutes, someone in the U.S. dies by suicide, according to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC). It is the tenth leading cause of death in the U.S., causing more fatalities than automobile accidents or homicides. The CDC estimates that for every person who dies by suicide, another dozen attempt suicide. .

As part of National Suicide Prevention Week, Sept. 8-14, Duke's Personal Assistance Service (PAS) is taking steps to enhance awareness of resources available to staff and faculty. PAS has added information about suicide prevention to its website to help employees recognize warning signs and become more comfortable discussing the topic. Information for students is available through Counseling and Psychological Services and DukeReach.

"Because of old stigmas there is still a sort of cone of silence around suicide," said Andrew Silberman, director of PAS, the program that offers short-term counseling and other services for staff and faculty. "No one expects to need information about suicide, but the people we have worked with want us to share more information in the hope of preventing more suffering."

The PAS web page includes risk factors for suicide and suggestions on how employees can approach colleagues. Silberman said people in the workplace have a unique opportunity to spot behavioral changes that might precede a suicide attempt, including social withdrawal, evidence of substance abuse or mental illness and conversations about wanting to die.

"People often fear that mentioning suicide will push someone to attempt suicide, but such an inquiry shows you are concerned and is more likely to give them an idea of where to go for help," Silberman said.

Parks still struggles to understand why Derek killed himself on April 13, three days before a planned fishing trip with his father.

"I'll never know for sure why he crossed that line," said Parks, tears welling in her eyes.

After her son's death, Parks took leave from work for three months. During that time, she sought therapy. A PAS counselor connected her with local resources, including the Triangle Survivors of Suicide (SOS) support group.

Through SOS, Parks works through her pain by listening to the stories of others and learning more about suicide. To raise awareness of suicide and money for research and prevention efforts, Parks is helping to plan "I Will Survive," a local community walk for those touched by suicide. The walk will be held at noon on Nov. 10 in Raleigh.

"I'm taking my stand with this walk," Parks said. "If there is anyone who can suffer less because we make it easier to talk about suicide, it is worth it for me."